blogs/brentspodek

I was sitting on a cushion in the mountains of Costa Rica, trying yet again to focus on my breath, when word came that New York was facing a monster blizzard.

It was moment of some tension - on the one hand, I, my rabbis, Marcelo Bronstein and Rachel Cowan, and about two dozen members of Congregation Bnai Jeshurun were cultivating contemplative practice, trying to breathe into the present moment without over focusing on the past or the future. On the other hand, a group of relatively hard charging New Yorkers were just told our travel plans were almost certainly in disarray and we weren't going to get home when we thought we would.

Some time ago, the zen master Kenny Rogers said, "you got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to count your cards and know when to run." It wasn't clear which we were supposed to do here.

Sometimes, we encounter discomfort and foolishly rush to effort - perhaps if we think or push or yell, things will be better. If I set the scowl on my face just right, certainly circumstances will change, we seem to think.

Other times, we encounter discomfort and wisely rush to effort - I think I am having a heart attack and need help now. This new government is frightening and I think we need to leave the country now.

How can we know which is which?

The daily Jewish liturgy begins with a prayer of thanks for the rooster, which discerns between night and day. So often, we too are in need of that discernment. Is it night or day? Is it time to act or time to be still? Is it time to hold 'em or time to fold 'em?

Cultivating stillness from which we can take wise action is so much the point of spiritual practice. In my mind at least, there is a tremendous amount swirling about - fears and hopes and memories and plans.

The practices which Judaism offers us are ways of allowing all that psychic stuff to settle. It is soul work on the daily basis of davvening and meditation, on the weekly basis of Shabbat and even an annual basis of retreat.

There is no clear rule for when to resist reality and when to accept it. There are practices, however, which make it easier to act mindfully, not react mindlessly.

Oh, and as far as the travel, we did take a break from our stillness - some of the group went made arrangements so there were backup flights and hotel rooms for everyone. Later, when I was in the airport hoping to get a standby seat to come home, I was aware that even as I was eager to get home and see my family, I was hopeful, but not aggravated.  I got home about 36 hours later than planned - because I made an effort, it was a day and a half later, not four days later. Because I had been reminded of how to still my mind, those 36 hours were peaceful, not miserable.