blogs/brentspodek

Over the course of the Days of Awe, different members of our community taught us about people in their lives who embody certain middot, or character traits. As part of our communal study of Musar, or character development, we are focusing on Silence, or ?????, this month. These are the words that Sasha Stim-Fogel shared about her step-father, Sam Ciofalo.                                                       --- Rabbi Brent Chaim Spodek

Today, I'm going to talk about my step-father Sam. He helped raise me and passed away 5 years ago and I miss him terribly.

Sam was meditator. He would sit with his eyes closed on a pillow at home. On some Sundays, he would drive to the Green Gulch Zen Center in Muir Beach and listen to the dharma talk, sit for meditation and then drink tea on the quiet, foggy deck outside.

Every day, Sam would get up early to sit alone in a cafe and write poetry in large black notebooks. He filled up book after book with his handwritten thoughts and word creations.

Sam was a great hiker. He loved the Sierra Nevadas and took us on family backpacking trips into the mountains. I remember him hiking by himself up ahead of the rest of us, alone and happy.

These practices of Sam's: meditation, writing and hiking- require silence in order to be fully and wholly experienced. The space that silence takes up makes room for deeper understanding and the fine-tuned observations that might otherwise get drowned out by noise. 

These silent practices brought more wisdom into Sam's life, and in turn into mine.

Sam liked to share poems at holidays and gatherings. I'll leave you with a short poem that he once shared with me, by the 14th century Persian poet Hafez, called How Do I Listen?

How do I listen
to others?
As if everyone
were my Master
Speaking to me
His cherished
last words.