blogs/brentspodek

During today's 1 PM meditation, we reflected on the poem You Mustn't Show Weakness, by Yehudah Amichai, with this powerful verse:

This is the situation:

If I take the plug out of the tub

After a pleasant and luxurious bath,

I feel that all Jerusalem and with it the whole world

Will empty out into the great darkness

Indeed, in these truly crazy times, I do enjoy pleasant moments, if not luxurious baths. I delight in getting to take long walks with my nearly teen-aged daughter and getting to have a catch with my son in the middle of the day. When I am in those moments, life is indeed pleasant. But then I go back to my messages and the news and feel the anxiety of this community and it resonates with the anxiety in my own heart. Who will next be diagnosed? How will our many freelancers and consultants weather this economic storm? Will our badly battered political and civic structures be able to withstand this? Will the next jolt to our collective system be the one that knocks the plug loose, with Jerusalem and the whole world emptying out into the great darkness?

There is no certainty in this world, and in moments like these, we are painfully aware of our lack of certainty. At times like this, when fear is a constant companion, I come back to the liturgy that I feel bold enough to leave behind in easier times. In particular I come to one verse from Psalm 122 - יְהִֽי־שָׁלֹ֥ום בְּחֵילֵ֑ךְ שַׁ֝לְוָ֗ה בְּאַרְמְנֹותָֽיִךְ׃ / May there be peace in your fortresses, equanimity in your battlestations. (Equanimity is just a fancy word for chill-ness). I chant it with this tune by Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach, rendered by his daughter Neshama.

I chant it with the hope that in those moments when I rush to my battlestations, ready to protect myself and those I love from enemies real or imagined, I can find that place of peace and equanimity. For sure, there are moments to fight - against disease or against inept and corrupt political leaders - but not every moment is that moment, despite how it might feel at times. Sometimes - oftentimes, in fact - the moment in front of us is a moment to be still, to sing, to learn, to give thanks for what blessings we do enjoy, even if they are not every blessing we hope for.   

I pray that all of us who feel locked in our fortresses and battlestations -- even those who are facing the real pain of this situation -- can find that peace and equanimity. If you are looking for help on that front, or just company on the journey, please look below to find out how to join me and/or Cantor Ellen for our on-line classes and meditations.

With blessings,

Rabbi Brent